This f***ing chili!

In my journey to making better decisions about my nutrition I decided to try turkey chili. I was thinking about it for days before making it. I was looking forward to it; daydreaming about the deliciousness it was going to bring into my life.

So I went to the store and bought some dry pinto beans, chili seasoning, and turkey meat. The turkey is because I’ve been trying to feed myself and my family less beef and I’ve learned that in most cases turkey meat is an acceptable substitute.

I soaked the pinto beans overnight (its supposed to make you fart less), and the next morning I threw them into the crock pot. I love my crock pot. I knew it wouldnt let me down. I put all the ingredients in and let them cook all day.

When it comes to chili you have to have cornbread. This is the south. Cornbread is mandatory. I did get creative, however, and made my cornbread in the waffle iron! I felt like a culinary pimp. It was great because it had the little waffle pockets in it. It held the chili in it.

Finally, the chili was done! I made the bowls and served them to my familyI hated it. I hated everything about this chili. I was betrayed. It smelled so good throughout the day, making my mouth water. Taunting me with its potential deliciousness. I didnt know it was filling me with empty promises.

I was actually mad at this food. I was angry at it! When it comes to chili, just use beef. Dont do to yourself what I did to myself. Here is a picture of the monstrosity. The picture even makes me angry.


The picture is sideways but I don’t care enough about this stupid chili to even fix it. I hate it.

I will say, though, a few days later I used the rest of it to make burritos and those weren’t half-bad. So some of this was salvagable. Woot!


How to get people to yell at you.


A part of this whole thing is about finding balance. It is something I struggle with on a regular basis. So so so regular. I’m struggling with it right now. I’m not talking about actual physical balance. I’m talking about balanced food ingesting. Some people like to call it “eating”. Not only do I have the not-so-fun task of finding new meals to serve my family and I; but I have to find snacks, too!

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Don’t panic, it’s only panic!


Imagine driving down the road one day with your window down. You’re enjoying a nice breeze and the radio is on. The songs aren’t your favorite but you like them because you know all of the words to almost all of them. Feeling happy and carefree.
Then it stops. Everything just stops.
All of the sudden you can’t breathe. You’re choking! Why are you choking? There is nothing to choke on! Maybe something else is happening. Maybe you’re having some kind of allergic reaction! To what, though? There’s nothing to be allergic to. Now your skin feels weird. One second you can’t feel anything, and then the next it almost feels like your skin is about to burn off. Something is wrong! Your heart! Your heart is beating so hard! It feels like it’s about to pound out of your chest. You have to find a way to pull over because you’re having a heart attack. Continue reading